I have an appointment with Yama and Steve Lennox for the big handover. It will be emotional. I take another Percocet to kill the pain. Janet and I drive to her office and I walk over to Monarch, same as any other day. The handover is quite smooth. Steve Lennox and Chandler are both there. Chandler set up their system, and is very familiar with the terrain. I will make myself available as required to make sure everything is running as it should and to answer any questions. I am apparently a bit high from the Percocet. I have no idea if that is true. But I am quite vocal and animated, and feeling no pain. Pain is very debilitating. No pain is great!
The meeting over, I make my goodbyes. Yama has sent an eMail and people have been inquiring. Lisa, Shawn, Yama and Antonella are the only ones who knew anything. By now, everyone is in the know. Shirley and Florence are in tears. Come visit. About that.. I finally leave and go home.
By the time Janet gets home, I am in a state of utter confusion and possibly panic. The drug masks all pain. Because of the various things going on in my body, some of the sensations and impulses had changed. For instance, I knew I had to pee because of sharp pains coming from what I suppose is my bladder. These were not continuous, or terribly hard, just a sharp stab that let me know it is time. The Percocet has stopped those stabs, so I have no idea when I have to pee. And when I do go to the bathroom, I have no control over any muscles. Think about that for just a second. You push, but since I have no feelings anywhere, what am I pushing. No idea.
I am off Percocet. This is some scary drug.
We call Ruth to find out if I should go on Tylenol 2 or 3. Turns out there is a Tylenol 1 drug which is over the counter. Who knew? Janet is off to the drug store and gets me some. Take 2. The drug takes its sweet time to make its magic work, but work it does. Pain is gone but some sensations and level of control remain.
My diet is pretty much all liquid at the moment or easily digestible solids. Janet, Devin and Leslie are becoming experts at making soups that are put through the blender, then through a sieve. I hate soup. The kind of food that leaves you still hungry for something real. But this is the best thing for me now. Occasionally, we have pasta with some delectable sauce that Devin invents. All soft and easy on the system.
And now we wait for Sept 1, the day we prep for the operation.
I remember the tea we had after you said good bye to everyone. I also remember the feelings of anger in me ‘thinking this is just not fair. of all the people for this to happen to…just not right.’
My rational side was telling me ‘fair’ and ‘right’ never factor into something like this.