Comments on: Expectations, suppression, and regrets https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/#utm_source=Source&utm_medium=Medium&utm_campaign=Campaign Why is there a lump in my chest? Sat, 04 Dec 2010 00:45:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Farokh https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-879 Farokh Mon, 29 Nov 2010 14:12:31 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-879 My Dearest Taravat, You are way too fixated on the Abha Kingdom. You have a long and fruitful life remaining on the beautiful earth. Why the fixation with the after life? Live and concentrate on what you can accomplish here. The Kingdom will wait. You seem to live in anticipation of something that you cannot control, and nor should you be able to control. I have been given some sort of schedule that says I have little time left. You on the other hand have the luxury of giving more to those around you. Live. Live a full life. Leave the Kingdom alone. Release your worries and concerns. Meditate on this life. Meditate on what more you can accomplish. All the goodness in your heart has to go somewhere. What a pity to waste on the after life. My Dearest Taravat,

You are way too fixated on the Abha Kingdom. You have a long and fruitful life remaining on the beautiful earth. Why the fixation with the after life?

Live and concentrate on what you can accomplish here. The Kingdom will wait. You seem to live in anticipation of something that you cannot control, and nor should you be able to control. I have been given some sort of schedule that says I have little time left. You on the other hand have the luxury of giving more to those around you.

Live. Live a full life. Leave the Kingdom alone. Release your worries and concerns. Meditate on this life. Meditate on what more you can accomplish. All the goodness in your heart has to go somewhere. What a pity to waste on the after life.

]]> By: Taravat https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-878 Taravat Mon, 29 Nov 2010 12:50:17 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-878 Faroukh joonam, I love reading your writings and the more I get to know you the more I love you. I look forward to our chats in the Abha kingdom. XOXO Taravat Faroukh joonam,
I love reading your writings and the more I get to know you the more I love you.
I look forward to our chats in the Abha kingdom.
XOXO
Taravat

]]> By: Farokh https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-874 Farokh Fri, 26 Nov 2010 10:28:58 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-874 The 10,000 hours is interesting. We seem to need to quantify everything. Devin was sent to the Warldorf school. report cards speak of progress, but nary a grade in there. It took a while to adjust to that. He is doing well, is that an A well or a B well? Quantify, quantify, quantify. You are not an expert until you reach the 10,000 hours. I started writing this blog when we gor out of hospital, around the middle of September 2009. The compliments on the writing style started pouring in almost immediately. I was humbled and surprised to say the least. I have never done anything like this before. Me, a writer, surely not. Yet, here we are still hearing what amazing story telling telling qualities I have. Compliments about my writing coming from a story teller such as yourself are even more valued. Regrets are interesting. We came to Canada n 1968. Culture shock does not begin to describe what was going on inside of us. We did not have the tools to describe what we were going through, or deal with it in any way. We shut down oblivious to the amazing possibilities that the country offered. The regret is not so much in not becoming an artist, but failing to realize that we have other possibilities in front of us than becoming a doctor or accountant. I would love to have no regrets whatsoever, but that ain't happening anytime soon. To make matters worse, Janet has encouraged me repeatedly to chuck everything and explore the artistic side. She saw through it so clearly. I missed a second opportunity. That is a regret I have to live with. Thanks for the comment. The 10,000 hours is interesting. We seem to need to quantify everything. Devin was sent to the Warldorf school. report cards speak of progress, but nary a grade in there. It took a while to adjust to that. He is doing well, is that an A well or a B well? Quantify, quantify, quantify.

You are not an expert until you reach the 10,000 hours. I started writing this blog when we gor out of hospital, around the middle of September 2009. The compliments on the writing style started pouring in almost immediately. I was humbled and surprised to say the least. I have never done anything like this before. Me, a writer, surely not. Yet, here we are still hearing what amazing story telling telling qualities I have. Compliments about my writing coming from a story teller such as yourself are even more valued.

Regrets are interesting. We came to Canada n 1968. Culture shock does not begin to describe what was going on inside of us. We did not have the tools to describe what we were going through, or deal with it in any way. We shut down oblivious to the amazing possibilities that the country offered. The regret is not so much in not becoming an artist, but failing to realize that we have other possibilities in front of us than becoming a doctor or accountant. I would love to have no regrets whatsoever, but that ain't happening anytime soon. To make matters worse, Janet has encouraged me repeatedly to chuck everything and explore the artistic side. She saw through it so clearly. I missed a second opportunity. That is a regret I have to live with.

Thanks for the comment.

]]> By: Brian Sheppard https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-873 Brian Sheppard Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:14:11 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-873 Farokh, I have been thinking about you and Janet a lot, and reading your posts. Again, I am amazed and inspired by your strength. Quite late in his life, I asked my grandfather if he had any regrets. His wonderful response was 'No... what's the point'. I've tried to take that with me. I agree with Anne's post at the top of this thread. Your writing is your art, and it's pretty magnificent. I don't buy into Gladwell's thing about 10,000 hours as the law, because there are some things you just cannot master no matter how many hours you put into them (piano taught me that. I love playing, but after all these years I stilI stink). But having a writer's voice that is yours, and that you can express with eloquence and meaning and feeling... that can't be taught - that's a gift. Thanks so much for sharing yours. Brian Farokh,

I have been thinking about you and Janet a lot, and reading your posts. Again, I am amazed and inspired by your strength.

Quite late in his life, I asked my grandfather if he had any regrets. His wonderful response was 'No… what's the point'. I've tried to take that with me.

I agree with Anne's post at the top of this thread. Your writing is your art, and it's pretty magnificent. I don't buy into Gladwell's thing about 10,000 hours as the law, because there are some things you just cannot master no matter how many hours you put into them (piano taught me that. I love playing, but after all these years I stilI stink). But having a writer's voice that is yours, and that you can express with eloquence and meaning and feeling… that can't be taught – that's a gift. Thanks so much for sharing yours.

Brian

]]> By: Jane Ross https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-868 Jane Ross Tue, 23 Nov 2010 22:11:52 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-868 Farokh, You are a fabulous writer. You have always been so grounded and so aware of what is and isn't said...what is and isn't seen....and you have the courage to write it and to say it!!! You liberate. As I said to Janet today, having you and Bun at the shoots along with her and Nancy made an otherwise obligatory situation become a fabulous "As it Happens" talk show! You have always been an artist. Pick up that paintbrush again. Who cares about 10,000 hours - that's what Gladwell says - it's a nice sound bite for an article. That's all it is. xo Jane Farokh,
You are a fabulous writer. You have always been so grounded and so aware of what is and isn't said…what is and isn't seen….and you have the courage to write it and to say it!!! You liberate. As I said to Janet today, having you and Bun at the shoots along with her and Nancy made an otherwise obligatory situation become a fabulous "As it Happens" talk show!
You have always been an artist. Pick up that paintbrush again. Who cares about 10,000 hours – that's what Gladwell says – it's a nice sound bite for an article. That's all it is.
xo Jane

]]> By: Sue https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-866 Sue Mon, 22 Nov 2010 19:37:41 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-866 Well Farokh, This post got a lot of comments. Definitely it hit people right between the ears. I have never had a passion. When I see people with these great passions that draw them to do extraordinary things, I wondered why I didn't have one. In the end, I have become thankful that I don't because I don't drive myself or the people around me a little crazy trying to fullfil that passion. I guess you can't have it both ways so I am very happy to be who I am, doing what I do, having friends and family, etc. So I will never achieve great things but I can still enjoy the beauty around me of people and places. I think that you definitely enjoy all that beauty and hopefully that will be enough. I definitely agree that you have a wonderful gift for writing and chatting. Hugs, Sue Well Farokh, This post got a lot of comments. Definitely it hit people right between the ears. I have never had a passion. When I see people with these great passions that draw them to do extraordinary things, I wondered why I didn't have one. In the end, I have become thankful that I don't because I don't drive myself or the people around me a little crazy trying to fullfil that passion. I guess you can't have it both ways so I am very happy to be who I am, doing what I do, having friends and family, etc. So I will never achieve great things but I can still enjoy the beauty around me of people and places. I think that you definitely enjoy all that beauty and hopefully that will be enough. I definitely agree that you have a wonderful gift for writing and chatting. Hugs, Sue

]]> By: Suzanne Pope https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-865 Suzanne Pope Sun, 21 Nov 2010 20:39:14 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-865 Like Brian, I wanted to play guitar. And like Brian, I started taking lessons. I think I still owe about 9,000 towards my 10,000, but Brian's post has given me fresh hope that I'll eventually get there. Like Brian, I wanted to play guitar. And like Brian, I started taking lessons. I think I still owe about 9,000 towards my 10,000, but Brian's post has given me fresh hope that I'll eventually get there.

]]> By: Nancy Vonk https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-861 Nancy Vonk Sun, 21 Nov 2010 14:03:05 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-861 I have to observe with Anne that your writing is staring you in the face---it is a gift. You think of it as something like breathing, no effort. You can't see what all of your faithful readers do. Congratulations, you are officially an artist. And you have been writing well over 10,000 hours, for what that may be worth. (I actually ran into Malcolm Gladwell eating at the communal table at Oddfellows a few days ago. Ironically he was eating by himself.) When I chose my major a the University of Delaware I had no idea the odds were against me. I am certain I would have taken a pass had I known the number of grads who would go on to have the few good jobs was a tiny fraction. Now as Lily considers gaming animation I could be fearful of the same odds (maybe worse). Ok, I AM fearful. Thanks for this perspective at exactly the moment I need to offer full support of her dream. I have to observe with Anne that your writing is staring you in the face—it is a gift. You think of it as something like breathing, no effort. You can't see what all of your faithful readers do. Congratulations, you are officially an artist. And you have been writing well over 10,000 hours, for what that may be worth. (I actually ran into Malcolm Gladwell eating at the communal table at Oddfellows a few days ago. Ironically he was eating by himself.)

When I chose my major a the University of Delaware I had no idea the odds were against me. I am certain I would have taken a pass had I known the number of grads who would go on to have the few good jobs was a tiny fraction. Now as Lily considers gaming animation I could be fearful of the same odds (maybe worse). Ok, I AM fearful. Thanks for this perspective at exactly the moment I need to offer full support of her dream.

]]> By: Delanie https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-863 Delanie Sun, 21 Nov 2010 04:54:06 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-863 Ahhh, yes regrets. We all have a few. What would our lives be like without them?? They are there for a reason, simply to remember what we did wrongm to make things right or to avoid repetition altogether and maybe to even teach the ones we love about our failed experiences. 'Just follow my own instincts'....art is beauty in the eye of the beholder.... Ahhh, yes regrets. We all have a few. What would our lives be like without them?? They are there for a reason, simply to remember what we did wrongm to make things right or to avoid repetition altogether and maybe to even teach the ones we love about our failed experiences.

'Just follow my own instincts'….art is beauty in the eye of the beholder….

]]> By: Janet https://www.ihavecancer.ca/expectations-suppression-regrets/comment-page-1/#comment-859 Janet Sat, 20 Nov 2010 02:18:26 +0000 http://www.ihavecancer.ca/?p=1244#comment-859 Regrets. I have a few! I really wanted to be a teacher, became a banker and now I spend every week teaching children ages 5-13. We make decisions based on so many wrong reasons. In one of the classes we were adding illustrations to a prayer, so it could ease the memorization. We each had a word/image and mine was to draw an island. I thought to myself "o my! I am so bad at drawing". But I had to try while suppressing the internal moans and groans. When I was finished, one of the 8 yr old said, 'that is a really nice Island'. It made me think that the beauty of the art is the appreciation for the creator not so much for the creation. It is looking at something through their eyes. Much like the pictures you have taken. Some of them I really like because I see it through your eyes, reflecting the person you are. The sensitivity, humor, ironical, appreciative, etc...of your character! Keep writing and taking pictures. Lovingly, Janet Regrets. I have a few! I really wanted to be a teacher, became a banker and now I spend every week teaching children ages 5-13. We make decisions based on so many wrong reasons.
In one of the classes we were adding illustrations to a prayer, so it could ease the memorization. We each had a word/image and mine was to draw an island. I thought to myself "o my! I am so bad at drawing". But I had to try while suppressing the internal moans and groans. When I was finished, one of the 8 yr old said, 'that is a really nice Island'. It made me think that the beauty of the art is the appreciation for the creator not so much for the creation. It is looking at something through their eyes. Much like the pictures you have taken. Some of them I really like because I see it through your eyes, reflecting the person you are. The sensitivity, humor, ironical, appreciative, etc…of your character!
Keep writing and taking pictures.
Lovingly,
Janet

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