I suppose I relate spirituality very much with religion and it
somehow gives me rash. In my opinion, there is no good religion. It is
always a better interpretation. Which means a wiser look that can make
a religion fruit ful to certain number of people for a certain period
of time. But on the other hand I look at spirituality as the essence
of all religions and perhaps if it was possible to have it without any
religion, it would have improved the quality of people's life. Very
idealistic of course.

With detachment I do not have much problem. I am not that much
attached to material things. It is easy to say that of course because
I have never been poor or starved. I have always liked comfortable
life but getting rich has never inspired me to do anything.
Moderation, yes, I think it helps us to go back to the track after
different messes we make with our lives to keep some sort of sanity.

Consciousness: I do not know if I am conscious or not but I do accept
responsibility for whatever I have done and never put the blame on
someone else. I know at least this is a good and healthy thing. It
makes you see better. I guess this has got to do wih consciousness. I
liked what you said about noticing how your action has affected your
beloved ones and if needed trying to fix it.

We should be a lot more easier on ourselves. Good and bad stuff happens all the time. We cannot afford to dwell on a lot of this stuff. The trick, is to be able to separate what needs our attention and what does not. It sometimes feels as if we have left things too late. This experience has shown me that this is rarely the case. A lot of life can be redone. Adversity that was created by our actions can be reversed. The language we choose at these times is supremely important.

I taught people how to use computers for a number of years. We have a tendency of explaining something to the students and then say something like, do you understand what I am saying? We do this all the time. Listen to yourself when you express something that you might think you did not explain properly. Using those words places the onus of understanding on the listener. You are basically saying, I am clear, you have to understand, and if you don't, then there is something wrong with you. Changing that last question to, Am I making myself clear? Removes the onus from the listener and places the responsibility back on your shoulders. That simple change relaxes the listener. Oh, good, it is not me, it is him who should explain it again. I am not so dumb after all.

The same applies to making peace with people. Watch your words. One choice will exacerbate the situation, another will make peace. You have led a great life, undoubtedly stepped on some toes along the way. Don't dwell on it too much. Make peace with yourself first, then with others.

And, yes, talk to yourself in the peace and quiet of your home, or when taking one of your long trips.

Thanks for letting me attempt an answer to your question.

The not knowing of this vital piece of information means that we have to temper everything we do, moderation in all things even if we do have the capability of moving the upper and lower bars of our expectations of moderation.

Detaching yourself at this time when I am contemplating death, from those that are near and dear to me is probably one of the most difficult and easiest things to accomplish. Hard and difficult because one cannot imagine for a second not being around. Surreal concept at the best of times. Yet, I am leaving which has brought a sense of serenity and calm to my space. I remember my mother saying it is always easier for the person dying. We are waiting expectant of the final result. Yes, we are all dying, just that we are not expecting to happen in short order.

Thanks for your comment.

As someone whose idea of meditating means drinking a glass of wine, turning on some candles and listening to music I can only say that I think you have a point. We spend all day taking information in from our iphones, ipads, computers and tv, what little time we have left we use to talk to other people, but we spend very little time now talking to ourselves and reflecting on our life. Having undergone a massive personal life change this year I realize that I hadn't been talking to myself for a long long time.

I know we cannot go diving and jump off a plane every day, but it's scary to think that some of us are walking around with perhaps small cancer cells inside us, or an imminent car crash in a week and yet we still get stressed, worried and beaten up by small every day problems.

It's easy to detach ourselves from things, but I think that's because we already have enough things. We're trained to get a house, buy a car, and wear nice shoes, and for that we must work, and for that we must pay the price in stress. My uncle who last month had a cancer scare told me the following when we were talking about material goods, "Ignacio, in this life everything you have is loaned to you, you never own anything, because you will leave with nothing."

It's a strange dilemma. I really wish I could wake up every day and assume I came out of the hospital with an all clear. That they told me that my terminal disease was over. Would I go straight to the airport to the Caribbean or would I go home, relax and pop in a DVD and burn two hours of your life? Like you told me once, it's tiring trying new things, we can't do it everyday.

I read a book recently that claimed the secret to happiness is not in doing extreme things every day but in pushing ourselves to learn something new every day. I think that is something that I saw you always embraced, your curiosity for things around you, and your incessant need to ask questions that perhaps the other people in the room were not asking. Learning something new every day, growing, is happiness.

All I can say is that through your experience, it has changed all of us, forever. I will never be able to see my life and those around me the same way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Farokh.