Big day. Can’t sleep. Obviously tense. Go see Doctor Ruth at 12:30. Janet accompanies me. Doctor Ruth is a LOT more serious than I have ever seen her. Her smile is a bit terse and we get down to business. Dates and events gain a new importance. She is asking a lot of questions trying to get a handle on the timing of each development. There is a new level of urgency to her tone. No time for jokes. At least not yet.

She prods and probes everywhere. All kinds of questions. Diverticulitis does not appear on the agenda at all. A footnote to history. Very concerned about the liver spots. Questions about my temperature. When did I have a it? Has it come back? Any sign of it since then?

Temperature is a sign of liver cancer, as is nausea and vomiting. And also unintended weight loss. Remember this. There is a quiz coming up. No temperature, no nausea, no vomiting. Just upset stomach because of the anti-biotics, and still very moody and emotional.

She is not smiling at all. Pushes against the growth. Asks a couple of questions about it. I tell her that since God took a rib from us to make Eve, I have decided to grow mine back. She laughs, then tells me I do not have to make her laugh. This is getting more serious. Does the anal probe. No surprises.

We finally sit down to talk. She is very straight with us. There is a mixture of events taking place that should not be happening at the same time. I am showing signs of liver cancer but no symptoms. That is also, perversely not good. So an Ultrasound it is, where they will look at the liver and environs.

We have a long discussion about the C word. Not that one, the other C word. The first one is rude and people get pissed then get over it. The second one is scary and no one gets over it. Liver cancer is treatable, controllable. There is little to worry about. We just need to know its source. I tell her it is really hard to stay positive with all these drugs playing havoc with me. She is sympathetic, but I have to stay on until we know more.

I also complain about shortness of breath. Not sure if I am hyper ventilating, or if it is more serious. What the heck, blood work and a chest X-Ray coming up.

Janet takes the next week off work to be with me. Worried does not begin to describe her state of mind.

One Response to “Big Day #1”

  1. Thank you for writing such an honest article!

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