Janet and I had a bunch of question for Dr. Hedley. They cantered primarily around the need to continue the Chemo Sessions if they were no longer effective. What were the repercussions of taking a Chemo Vacation at this point, or at the end of August as he was planning> Taking a vacation now would allow us to enjoy the summer.

We are slowly realizing that a lot of decisions are ours to make. If we want to quit the Chemo Session, than quit it is. We are in charge of our treatments. The doctors are there to guide and advise us. The ultimate decision is ours. This is a bit freaky. We are never sure if we are making the right decisions or not. Do we have the right amount of information to make a decision? Is it the right decision? To make matters worse, the doctors themselves are not sure either.

Every body reacts differently to the drugs. We were at a small party celebrating Kali’s birthday the other day. One of the friends has a brother with very advanced lung cancer. The gave him one Chemo session to which he reacted very badly. All the stuff they keep expecting me to go through. So sorry to disappoint. They removed his brother from any further Chemo treatments. So are you still on Chemo, he asks me. Yes. How long have you been on Chemo. Almost a year now, since last October. He was dumbfounded. I do not look or behave like a Chemo patient. Except for the afternoon naps. We are all different.

My blood work showed more positive results than last time. My liver enzymes are closer to where they should be with one indicative being totally in the normal range.

Dr. Hedley brought up the fact that we have not had a break since this thing started. I started feeling the pains in June 2009. By August 1, the diagnosis was fairly complete and certain. Operation on September 2, Chemo in October. Yikes. A year without a break. The doctor saw no reason why we should not stop the treatments right now and take our vacation. A CT-Scan was planned for Friday (today) to set a baseline for the future. Next CT-Scan in two months. Chemo would only start again if my situation deteriorates. A steady condition will result in a longer vacation.

A two month Chemo Vacation is on the books. Cannot believe it. I am in a bit of a daze. Basically what happens when you receive bad news or terrifically good news. You cannot believe your ears and shut down. Two months with no Chemo.

Janet and I stared at each other. What do you say? How do you react?

Doctor Hedley wanted to feel my stomach to make sure all was right. I suggested that things were still a bit tender. I can lift heavier bags now, but feel some discomfort if I overdo things. I am sure the healing process will speed up without the Chemo getting in the way. He appeared to confirm this. Good news. I am looking into going to the pool on a regular basis to strengthen the stomach a bit. I get bored swimming. Back and forth, you go. I will have to do it nevertheless.

Can we start eating raw meats again? I miss my steak tartar, sushi, and oysters. I was given the green light for sushi. Say it ain’t so. We decided on the spot that we would have that for dinner to celebrate. Diana, Nancy and her daughter Lily are coming over. Makes for a grand celebration.

Dr Hedley mentioned that we are in really good hands with his nurse, Shahnaz. We truly are. She is magnificent. She mentioned how much the nurses in the Chemo daycare like me. I walk in with my big laugh and cheer them up. The doctor just shook his head. All the nurses love him he says. Then gives me a gigantic hug before leaving.

Janet and I were left alone for a few minutes in the consulting room. She high fived me. This is the first time in almost a year were I could a glimmer of hope in her eyes. She seemed ecstatic over the news. She had a bright smile and a glitter to her eyes. That was enough to make me happy.

I phoned Fetneh and Fo’ad that night. It is always good to talk to them after news like this. It helps air my thoughts, clear the cobwebs a bit, get some perspective. I eMailed them of course, but that was not clear enough for them. Fetneh was jumping for joy. She made me promise to not withdraw from life because of this. The are chances of withdrawal symptoms creeping in if you are not careful. The hospital has been a home away from home, as it were. A very safe place to spend time in. You get sort of attached to these things. The routine. However horrible the Chemo experience is, you get used to the routine. The people. The support.

I assure her that I will not regress. I will keep the blog going. I may have a bit of trouble adjusting to the new freedom. We will see.

Fo’ad was just as supportive, of course. How does this change life? I don’t know. My curly head of hair may even make a comeback. I see no negatives in any of this. I become so much stronger when I am off Chemo for even a week. This can only be good.

We have lots of plans. We have been invited to all sorts of places. Long trips are out of the question. One day excursions within the vicinity of Toronto can be done. We are going to see Anne and Frank in Pickering, John and Sharon have invited us to their horse farm, Heather and Neil want us to go their farm. Heather reminded me that it is almost a year to the day when we went to their farm to share the news. Their friend Beth was there, also a cancer patient. She had a long conversation with me about what to expect. Strange to think of that now.

Devin is leaving us to go pursue a master degree in Change Management at the New School in New York City. We should be flying down on August 21. Sadness and happiness combined. I am ever so proud of him.

September will see me visit Montreal again to spend some time with Hong Lan. Janet will be attending the film festival in Toronto. My visit to Montreal will take some pressure off her. I have to talk to Hong Lan a bit more about what her remedies are. Stuff that includes acupuncture to increase energy levels. She deluged with so much information that I had trouble absorbing it all. A revisit is a must. To say nothing of spending time with Fetneh, of course. I will try and stay in the same apartment as before, taking advantage of Steve Mykolyn’s generosity. It is good to have a space of your own, specially when you are in my condition.

I lay down when we got home. All this stuff is a bit overwhelming. We had dinner and I returned to bed and made my phone calls.

Yesterday was my very first day of this vacation. I slept for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I also wandered around the house a bit lost. I have so many things to do, so many projects on the go. Where to start? Sleep of course. I am having lunch with Kali today. Looking forward to that. Planning the trip to New York when I get home from that.

Tomorrow is a new day. Taking us back to another sense of normalcy. Can’t wait.

The last Chemo session was followed by Neulasta and its effects. We took another week off to go to Montreal. No fuss from anyone. Live your life being our latest motto. And live we will.

Fetneh organised a lunch with a bunch of friends. I mentioned this before. We rented the Quartier Perse owned and operated by Mahin and her husband Siamack. They are friends of ours. Mahin barred Fetneh from making any decisions regarding the food.

We flew Porter from the Toronto island. What a Godsend that is. 15 minutes cab ride from our house is a small airport catering to short hauls. In this case Montreal. The Porter staff are very friendly and look after really well. We landed in Montreal and arrived at our apartment (courtesy Steve Mykolyn) at 3PM. This is more of a corporate apartment. Very sparse with the minimum amount of perks. Except for the abundance of magazines like Dwell, one of my all time favourites.

Fetneh joined us and I went to bed soon after she arrived.

This was very confusing. The flight was short and not tiring at all. Yet here I was exhausted and yearning fro a lie down. Janet and Fetneh went out for hamburgers which they brought back with them I was not hungry. Kept sleeping, waking up occasionally to the sound of the ladies enjoying their delectable dinner. Interrupted sleep is not an issue. My sleep is constantly interrupted by concerns of the colostomy bag coming off. I wake up regularly to check and make sure all is well. Waking up to the sound of people enjoying a meal is a whole other matter.

I was tired again on Friday. We went shopping int the morning. Had a cup of coffee and lousy apple turnover at this small coffee shop. Janet wanted to go to Simmons. Not sure why they do not open a store in Toronto. They would make a killing. Maybe Toronto is not fashionable enough for them.

I got tired very quickly. The nature of my fatigue appears to be changing. I cannot describe it very well. I seem to have energy until the batteries run out. I collapse and sleep off the fatigue only to start the process over again. Not much fun, and difficult to predict when the batteries are about to run out. I should talk with the Energizer people about this. I wanted to show Janet some stuff. No energy. I went down to the food court and sat down to see if that would help. It didn’t. I was not sure is If was noxious, or just tired. Was it fatigue or more than that. What more could there be. Janet wanted details which I could not supply. Working through the feelings.

I walked back to our apartment. Walking is often good for working things through the system. They would make us walk in the hospital. We had to walk three or four times a day. That was almost the first question the nurse would ask you. They made me walk a couple of days after surgery. I am not sure why walking has the effect it does. I often find myself burping a lot as the gases make their way out of your system. The stomach sometimes comes alive, which is a good thing. Walking is good. the walk back to the apartment was not long, just long enough. I slept until Janet came back. Still stayed in bed to rest for the evening.

We had dinner on Friday night with a few of our friends. Some of them would not be able to make it on Sunday afternoon. They wanted to see me, make sure I was OK. Don’t trust my entries in the blog. They want to hear it from me, see my face, make sure I am not lying. These are old time friends, since we first came to Canada some 42 years ago. We had a great time. Went to Chez Gauthier which has seen better days. The food was terrible, service went along with the food quality. No sense in rocking the boat. We were served an hour late. My brother went to see if he could speed things up to no avail. I went up to our waiter and told him flat out that I had cancer and needed to eat right away. Past my lack of food tolerance. Play the cards you have. They served our food within ten minutes, though I doubt it had to do with anything I said.

The company made up for the lack of quality elsewhere.

We spent Saturday having lunch with Ignacio at the very wonderful Hotel Saint Sulpice in Old Montreal Highly recommended. Good food and great service. I had a lobster club sandwich. Did not know club sandwiches came with lobster. On the other hand, why should they not? I have a soft spot for club sandwiches. Toasted brown bread, lots of mayonnaise, and more of it on the side. Mouth watering.

Fo’ad came by the apartment for a visit while I rested. Janet went, you guessed it, shopping. I rested and talked with my brother and eventually went to sleep. We had dinner at martin’s house. Great company and wonderful food made for a great evening. My main regret in all these things is that I have to leave early. Seems like I am cutting things short.

Brunch on Sunday at Fetneh’s apartment. Lunch at Mahin’s.

Fetneh tells me 56 people showed up, a lot of whom I do not know. A bit ironic that a lunch thrown in my honour attracted a bunch of people I do not know, who did not introduce themselves to me. It did not bother me any. Interesting to see all those friends and relatives. Interesting to see so many children. The next generation.

Mahin is an amazing cook. The food, all Persian was astounding. White rice, green rice, rice with fava beens, sour cherry rice (my mothers favourite). All of it complemented by kebab. Mouth watering, melt in your mouth, delicious Iranian kebab. I ate lots. No repercussions.

I sat outside and let people find me. I spent a lot of time talking with Barb Puky and her husband. Nushin and Mehran graced me with their time. Funny thing about friends of long standing. You do not need to get to know each other. You pick up where you left off. No conversation is taboo. We have gone through too much in our history to let small things get in the way.

Barb Puky has been friends with us since University. She was in the same dorm as Janet.

Nushin is related our family through one of my great uncles. My grandfather had two wives. The second after the first passed away. Nushin in related to us through this first marriage.

Mehran’s parents were friends with my parents. That is going back a long ways. Makes for easy conversations and a very relaxed afternoon.

The end of the afternoon was more emotional than the beginning. I had expected it to be the other way around. I was caught off guard. I did not cry when I met everyone. I did cry when we left. Everyone in Montreal has been very supportive. I cannot thank them enough.

Fetneh works for a lady called Hong Lan. The best description I have of her is that she is a Traditional Chinese Medicine Naturopath. Hong Lan asked to meet with me to discuss my situation. She appears impressed with the progress we have made and would like to contribute. I cannot tell you what we talked about. The conversation went on for over two hours including a deep breathing exercise. I was and still am overwhelmed by the amount of information she parted with. I will be back in Montreal in September for a second conversation.

I think that is all for now.

I am waking up very early these days. I guess it is a result of getting so much sleep during the day. Not sure. I was awake around 6 and finally rose around 7. I was looking forward to a cup of coffee.

Got dressed, went out for a walk. The staff at the hotel are so nice. Not just a question of opening and closing doors. Very pleasant and helpful. There is a coffee shop across the street, small joint, thought I would give them a try. I had a coffee at the hotel the previous day while waiting for Janet to get back from her facial. It was really bad. The doorman recommended the shop across the street, except they were closed. I walked around a couple of blocks. Nothing was open. New York was asleep.

There are few things better in this world than a city waking up. I think that should be a subject for a bunch of pictures. Staff at restaurants prepare for the new day by cleaning the sidewalk in front of their stores. They not only sweep, but wash their sidewalks in preparation for the crowds. I remember people doing this in Iran, except they did it in the evenings in order to cool things down, as well as to wash things.

I took a few pictures, not a lot, and one of them may show up next Friday or something. I have to look at it a few more times before deciding. A bit of exhaustion, a bit of nothing really worthwhile in our neighbourhood. There are a lot of restaurants, stores everywhere, buildings that could use a lot of work, spaces for rent. The city is still vibrant and alive. Not as alive as it used to be, but alive.

I got back to the hotel at 8 in time for the coffee. Nothing was open before 8. Imagine that. On a Friday no less. I would have believed that for a weekend, not a weekday. Ordered a double espresso and banana cake. Both were good. Ate them outside the coffee shop. They had a table and two chairs set up. The slope in the sidewalk meant that you felt like you were falling off all the time. Ordered a coffee for Janet and went back to the hotel around 8:30. Janet was still asleep. She did not like her coffee much.

We finally left the hotel around 10 to start our adventure. Hunted down a place to have breakfast. Service is New York is spotty at best. Most places are good, a few are great and a lot are pretty mediocre. The staff barely talk to you. They had to wake up early to serve you. What more do you want? The staff members who actually deliver the food are different from the waiters who take the orders. The serving guy served out breakfast to the wrong table. I don;t know about you, but if I had ordered eggs over easy with bacon, and received an omelet instead, I would be just a tad suspicious of the food. Not this guy. Dove in and started eating. The waitress later apologized for the mix up and did not charge him for the meal.

Wait just a minute here. Serve me his dish and don’t charge me either. How come he does get charged for eating my breakfast? I had to wait a while longer for mine to be served. No fair.

I went to the local AT&T shop to see if I could get a pay as you go SIM card for my iPhone. No such thing. Anyway, the salesman says, the pay as you go is not worth it for the iPhone. You use up the amounts almost instantly because of the amount of traffic that the phone generates. What about other pay as you go options? He winces. You have to buy the phone. The plan is minimal. $4.00 for 200 text messages. That is really all I wanted the phone for anyways. A phone with a regular keyboard is $80. You kidding me? For pay as you go? Not worth it. Not for the remaining 2.5 days. Amazing how bereft one feels without a phone.

Don’t go all Crackberry on me. My first cell phone was a motorolla flip phone. a huge unit that looked like it was made for the military. Janet made me get it when I was taking a trip to Sault Ste. Marie on a training gig. Must have been about 15 years ago. I wanted one just to keep in touch with Janet through text messages. She is shopping, I am walking around. You get the idea.

Janet decides to shop in this Japanese store called Uniqlo. I looked for a place to sit down. All the benches within site of the changing rooms were taken. I sat on the stairs. This young girl comes up to me and says I am not allowed to sit on the stairs. I tell her I am not feeling well. She says I can go up the stairs or look for the other benches. I explain that the benches are occupied, and I cannot go up the stairs. She has no sympathy. There is an elevator and there are other benches. The stairs are very wide. I am not in anyone’s way. I express my disappointment in her attitude and leave the store. There are no benches in NY, but there are sprinkler systems you can sit on. I did, and waited for Janet to finish her shopping.

I came across this service called Hello Rewind. They will take your old T-Shirt and turn into a computer sleeve for $49.00. Proceeds of the sale got toward stopping the sex trade. You can read all about it at the link above. The idea is that you make the purchase online. They send you a small box into which you place your t-shirt. Six weeks later you have you own genuine unique computer sleeve. Only one small flaw in the ointment,as it were. Does not work in Canada. You can make the purchase. They cannot send you the box. You have to send in your t-shirt. I figured we would drop in on them since we were going to be there anyways.

Their offices were about 10 blocks away from the hotel located in one of those nondescript areas that permeate so many cities. The office was locate in a newly renovated building. The security consisted of this young lady working on a computer at a round table located in a very cramped lobby. She called the office, and they let us up. The elevator was very claustrophobic. Janet felt a little queasy by the time we got the sixth floor.

What a fantastic layout. There was a row of offices separated by glass panels. Looked a lot like a cow stable where the animals are herded into their spaces in a neat row. The offices looked like they were between 60 and 80 square feet. Enough for two people to work in. Our contact was in the last office. The spaces were all filled and the place was humming with work and energy. Everybody was young and either hard at work or chatting with their neighbours. Our contact was quite happy with the space. Large enough to work in when you are there. A lot of other your entrepreneurs meant a lot of connections for more business. He was involved int he marketing of Hello Rewind. Janet and I fell in love with the concept. Not sure I could work for very long in those cramped quarters, a great concept nevertheless.

I was a bit knackered and took a power nap before lunch.

We met with Steve Landsberg for lunch in an Italian joint. Very friendly, great food, though I could not eat much. My stomach has been very active, due I think, in part to the type of foods I have ingesting. a lot of greens, meats, ghetti, and so on. Time to give it a rest of sorts. Complicated in a city which serves such large helpings. Steve was great. Commented on how good I look.

More walk, more sleep, more shopping for Janet. Felt so bad for. Obligated to do all that shopping. Went out for dinner with some more friends.

The fantabulous Sarah Kosteki, Dex and his wonderful wife Amelia. I had heard rumours of Amelia before. We have had several meals with Dex in Toronto. She was always absent on one pretext or another. We began to doubt her very existence. All those stories, sure, if you insist. The reservation was for 6:00PM. She was not there. Finally showed up at 7:00. OK, she is real, and charming at that, nothing less expected from anyone who would marry Dex. The conversation was fluid, the company charming, the food great. You look great was the first thing Dex and Sarah said.

People, get used to it. I look great for someone with the big C etched on his forehead. Really. My hair is thin but growing back. You would never know there was anything wrong with me if you met me on the street.

Meal done, made our way back to the hotel for 10:00PM. I went to sleep almost instantly leaving Janet to struggle with the TV.

It was short. It was quick. It was fun.

Ok, I will tell you more.

We flew Porter from the Toronto Island Airport. Landed in the Newark International Airport. Took a taxi into town.

We have a letter from Dr. Kennedy that stipulates that I am infirm and require a wheelchair to get around. I also have a pair of scissors in my medical bag which is needed. The folks at the Island airport let me through with the scissors. No fuss. We passed on the wheelchair. It is a small airport. Janet’s amazing assistant, the famous and fabulous Marina booked the trip. She made sure that my infirm state was noted in bold letters in the Porter file. No confusion there. The Porter staff were very attentive, both on the ground and in the flight. We were fast tracked through every possible gate. Preboarded when the call went out. What fun.

Newark is another story altogether. Huge place. There was a wheelchair waiting for us. That was one of the weirdest experiences of my life. Quite demoralizing. On one hand you appreciate the fast tracking through customs and all the lines. On the other hand you feel very inadequate. The wheelchair was a bonus. It saved me a lot of walking. I will not hesitate in the future in taking advantage of it. It is still weird.

The cab ride into NY was interesting to say the least. The ride itself was uneventful. The view out of the taxi window was amazing. So much heavy industry. So much dirt and filth and pollution in New Jersey. It made New York look like the most wonderful place on earth. Quite a feat that.

We checked into the hotel. As usual, the room was not ready. We went for a walk and to get a bite to eat. So many places to eat. So many choices. Makes it difficult to decide. We finally settle on a place with open widows and doors. The weather is spectacular. Table for two. Order our food. Talk, Watch the people walking outside, longing for a table by the window. We let our waiter know that we covet one of the two tables. The people appear to be finishing, and we will move there as soon as possible.

There is a lady sitting by herself two tables over. Way too much foundation and rouge. I thought that look was out of fashion eons ago. Yet here she is, looking pasty white. Almost clownish. She is high strung. Nervous and fidgety. She finishes brushing her teeth and applies her red lipstick. Stops long enough to let the waiter know that the french fries that came with her meal were inedible. can she get a discount? The waiter comes back. She gets a $2.00 discount, and here is the bill. She fidgets and fusses. Gets her money out. Looks at the bill. Appears to do some calculations. Closes the billfold, puts her money away, collects her belongings and leaves. At no time did she smile.

I remember thinking what a business this is. You have to trust your patrons to put money in the billfold before leaving. Something made me wonder if she left any money since she appeared to put away all the money she had pulled out. She had left $2.00 in the billfold. The waiter ran out to chase her down. She had disappeared.

Welcome to New York.

We came to New York without an agenda. A few friends wanted to have lunch or dinner with us. That was about the only agenda that was set up beforehand. The whole idea was to wander and experience the city. Go back to the hotel when I got tired. Janet could go shopping and do whatever. Thursday was out day. We had dinner by ourselves. Spent the afternoon wandering getting to know the streets. We stayed at a hotel called 60 Thompson Street. Part of a chain of Thompson Hotels. This one happened to be located at its namesake. So much imagination at play here.

The hotel was nice enough. Queen size bed in a room not much bigger. A lovely HD TV, except all the channels were analog with a third of them unwatchable. The remote barely worked. You had to lift up your arm, point in the right direction and hold whatever button down. Spin three time, pray to the God of remotes, burn an effigy. They replaced the batteries in the remote to no avail.

My cell phone is on a Canada only plan. The hotel wanted to charge us $10 for 24 hours of WiFi service. What a ridiculous thing to do. I have a letter going out to someone at the Thompson Group complaining about that. You tend to spend very little time in your hotel. Making this one of the more expensive perks. They should make it $10 for 24 hours of service, as in a cumulative amount, as opposed to a 24 hour day. Janet’s Blackberry was spotty until she went to an At&T store where they jiggled and wiggled until the unit started working. What a to-do.

Went to bed early in anticipation of the next day.

I am going through a bizarre set of events. I keep thinking and thinking and the thoughts provoke new thoughts, and I reverse my position don’t care about this or that, come to new conclusions, confuse myself to all high hell. What else do I have to do?

It turns out that I have a lot of options.

I went for my Chemo session last Tuesday. That is Tuesday the 11th of May. My blood count was. The admin staff were helpful. Quite a change from the previous week. More on that in a separate post coming today. The nurse let me know that this was my 14th session. I am a walking talking Chemo boy. The drugs came, and I was topped up. Got the Neulasta shot on Thursday. I slept for a week. My energy levels returned yesterday. I am all excited about New York where I will be tomorrow at this time. Things are good.

We were at the Fraser’s farm a couple of weekends ago. I designed a couple of new camera bags. I have to render them, sew up a couple of examples. Yes, I can sew. Learned from my mother. Then attempt to find a manufacturer, put together a business and marketing plan. The usual routine. The market is short of good practical camera bags.

I have also decided to start designing web pages for small business. Nothing fancy, no flash or anything complicated. Simple four to five pages of static stuff. I will also offer to maintain the site, update the software, make sure it is running, do the marketing for it and so on. I have revamped my photo site at farokh.ca. I will be creating a template of sorts in the next week or so. Then start calling or sending eMails out to some prospects that I already know might find this useful. I can do this from home, and be totally online, and at my own pace.

My friend Steve Mykolyn suggested the other day, that I start writing camera and related equipment reviews. I have thought about that. I am coming up with a template for that as well. I will probably focus on the every day user who is pondering buying a point and shoot camera, or an upgrade. None of the professional stuff. Professional, or semi-pros such as myself are pretty well versed. There are sites that pander to us. No one seems to be looking after the casual user in a meaningful and fun way.

We are re-doing our garden this year. Thinking of building a new pond, a shed, plant some new local plants. We hired a gardener to help out. I do not have the sustained energy to carry out the changes.

Busy? Just a bit. It occurred to me the other day that I am trying to find myself – again. I have no idea which of these projects will come to fruition. Maybe they all will. Maybe only one of them. It is becoming an interesting exercise. I am concentrating on the web design first. Once the template is set up and the eMails are sent, there is little left to do, except maybe a bit of marketing. Might even be fun.

I was told at the beginning of this adventure that I have some time to live, anywhere from tomorrow to five to ten years. Or more. Or whatever. I told Fetneh the other day, that I have to modify the numbers a bit. I had my operation about 9 months ago. I now have between four and nine years to live. I can be so funny. Five to ten sounds like so much more time. I could go one for the next five to ten telling people I have between five and ten. No one would be the wiser.

You go through life expecting to die of ripe old age. No one really expects to die sooner. No one is out there saying things like, Oh yeah, I expect to be fall out of a building by the time I am fifty. Cancer hits. The doctors do not like to give you a time frame when you would expect to die. Bad vibes there. The problem that appeared this week in my ever so feeble brain is that you now expect to die earlier, but when exactly? Not that you knew before. Expectations are now set for an early passing on. But when? This is getting stupid.

I went to the hospital yesterday, home away from home. It is amazing how quickly you adjust to your new surroundings. I went to spend a bit of time with a friend who was doing blood work and meeting with the palliative care people. She does not have much time left. She gave her blood to the vampires, and we went for lunch. Her husband was there. He keeps calling me the other man. The goal is to just talk, laugh, eat. We are going out for Ethiopian food when we come back from N.Y. I am going to cook Persian rice for her one evening. We do what we have to do.

I also ran into my lady with no nose. The cancer has spread a bit. She is due for more surgery on her cheekbones. We talked a bit. She was on the verge of tears. Don’t know what to say.

I look amazing. Everyone is saying that, so it must be true. My hair is growing, albeit (great word that!) slowly. I have apparently developed immunity to hair loss. Which is a good thing. I just read today that losing the hair in your ears results in losing your hearing. I am saved, I tell you, saved.

I am seeing my psychiatrist in June. A good talk is to be had. So much stuff to discuss. So many thoughts, so much stupidity, confusion. It will all pan out.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for being there.

As you may or may not know by now, we spent a weekend at the Fraser farm in Caledon, about an hour north of Toronto. They were not there. They gave us the key to the house. We have been there many times and are not strangers to the house. This is not your typical [...]

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